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Baby is sleeping, knock on wood, time to journal,

What a happy, hippy, earth mama writes when she can find the time

So Far Behind
Alrighty, so let's keep it basic and go back and recap a bit shall we? Well, I last wrote on a Tuesday about that day and Monday and of my resolutions for cleaning and cooking. Well, those both went out the window while Amanda was here and all sorts of craziness related to that fact, plus Jim's new dog, and Jeremy having a fussy cold, came up. But, I also made a resolution related to getting out and getting busy and getting things done that I have been able to more closely stick to. On the Sunday before that last post I started this resolution to go out and do at least 1 arrond everyday to get Jeremy out of the house, to make sure that Jim has more time to do home work, make friends, go to events he's interested in and to clean his apartment, so he isn't running around doing this and that and the other thing for me to often.

So Sunday before last Jeremy and I took liftline to Target and then walked over to Babies R Us and then returned home. We looked for a new snow shuvvle which Target was out of, priced blenders and humidifiers for Candice and Kyle who weren't able to answer any of their phones at the time to get the specs and prices of the options, looked for hot chocolate K Cups for Jeremy which there was a space for on the shelf, but which was completely empty, looked for a cheep chorded phone, but every single phone was chordless and wound up buying a new bottle brush, which is much more hearty then the flimsy one from Babies R Us we got last year, a pack of scrunchies because my house eats mine pretty quickly and I was getting low, and 4 small bins for sorting Jeremy toys with small pieces so that I don't go stir crazy. The woman who helped us was a bit odd, I first thought she was not mentally all there, but she did find things alright, then I wondered if English was not her first language as she did not talk much and spoke simply, but now I'm just thinking that she might just be a bit of an odd duck, not a great communicator, but not foreign and not mr, just a bit strange. She did do her best, it was just a bit of a stressful trip. Then I got 3 packs of Seventh Generation diapers and the value box of 4 packs of Seventh Gen. wipes from Babies R Us and exchanged Jeremy's Cookie Monster slippers for ones 2 sizes larger. I'm trying to buy items we use frequently in bulk, like the wipes to save money, and ahead of time, like the diapers to prevent unnecessary trips made and time and energy wasted. The value box really is a great deal. Also, Jeremy is now in the biggest size of diapers before their disposable training pants, so as soon as it warms up more we're going to just tackle this potty learning thing head on, because this is getting ridiculous.

Monday and Tuesday we've already been through. So, on to Wednesday last. We took Liftline to DHHS and then to Walmart, then back home. The weather was awful and we got to DHHS with only 20 minutes between that drop off and the time our next pick up window started, and I had reasonably planned for an hour there, by ordinary standards of commute time, but the roads were slippery, nasty, with high winds and crap visibility. Surprise surprise, the form I picked up to apply for a renewal of Medicaid was in fact the initial application form which can not be used to renew or reapply. Fortunately the sweet ladies behind the counter, gasp, helped me by transfering all of the information by hand from one form to another and made me a copy of my SSD paperwork with no protest whatsoever. They could have made my life supremely difficult, but instead they were kind and it was a very pleasant change from my usual experiences at DHHS. Let me tell you a fun Liftline story. I knew the weather was crap, I knew the buses would all pretty much be running late, so I called the dispatcher to ask if my connecting bus to Walmart would be late. She just couldn't seem to get it that I was not rushing her, I was not complaining, I understood how awful the weather was, I would in fact be happy and greatful if my next ride would be late, thereby giving me more time to get done what I needed to get done, all of which I explained in detail and with great calmness and chearfulness. I just wanted to know if my next bus was running late and if so, how late that was. . She finally got it, told me my bus was running about 10 minutes behind, fine with me, and we ended the call. So, I tacked 10 minutes onto the beginning of my window and rushed out the door just having finished at that adjusted time. As I was putting away my SSD forms the security gard informed me that my bus was out front. I rushed out, boarded the bus and was informed by the driver that he had been waiting there for 10 minutes. So, this driver was not in fact running behind, he was probably the only driver in the whole fleet of Liftline buses actually on time that day, and I had just made him late. Granted, I did appoligize perfusely and tried to explain how dispatch had given me incorrect information and also granted, I wouldn't have been able to come out any earlier even had I known he was out there, because I wasn't done until 10 minutes into my origional pick up window. But, I was damn lucky not to have gotten left. This proves yet again that the Liftline dispatchers are either too incompitant or stupid to understand what you tell/ask them, or are too lazy to actually look up where your particular bus is and are then dishonest and they imply or even tell you out right that they have checked on something when they have not in fact done any such thing. I could have missed my bus and been stranded at the creepy DHHS with a pissed off toddler and a long cab fair home if I had come out one split second later.

Moving on, we went to Target where a very nice woman who actually was in my EDU100 class last year, who now works at Walmart, helped me shop. I got the new shuvvle, which was tons of fun to carry home on the bus, a chorded phone, cheep so as not to cause too much strife if Jeremy kills it and 6 new pairs of 24 month Geranimals sweat pants for Jeremy, dark grey, black, light grey, brown, lime green and turquoise, and once again failed to find hot coco K Cups. They also had red and navy blue in the boys style, but not in his size. The green and turquoise were actually girls style, but they are nice bright gender nutral fun colours, and the style is not blatently different, just a thinner, flatter waste band, less bunchy and the cuffs are open and strait not gathered with elastic, plus they run a tad smaller, so he got the turquoise and maybe also the lime in a 2 or 3 T. Either way, they held up pretty much the same size as the boys 24 month pants, so whatever. Jeremy was very concerned that we didn't bring the shuvvle in from the portch. He saw it as groceries and was confused then downright concerned that I had forgotten to bring it in with the other things we had purchased. Poor Jer Bear. He makes me chuckle.

This post is getting long, so I'll write again later today and talk about Thursday and Friday's goings on. That's what they say, take it 1 day at a time, well I'm taking it 2 days at a time until I finally catch up. But up until that point I was doing quite well with the going out and doing something everyday of a productive nature resolution: 2 places on Sunday, none on Monday because of unforseen circomstances, but a ton of phone calls were made, 2 more arronds on Tuesday, and 2 on Wednesday as well.

Getting Things Done
Well, the last few days have been pretty full and are actually starting to be productive. Monday was kind of a bust in terms of the going places component, but in terms of networking and making necessary telephone calls, I almost made up for that. That and, it couldn't be helped. Poor Candice, not elaborating because I think she posted about it with protected status, but long story short, I was going to visit with her, bring her a woven wrap carrier, show her how to use it, hang out, then go from there to Wegman's to do some shopping, and then come home. Due to forces completely beyond her or my control she wasn't home then and so I canceled my rides. For those who don't know how our lovely Para Transit works, or any paratransit for that matter, as most are pretty restricting in their day-to-day use and operation, you cannot change your rides the day of "I was going from point A to point B, could you take me to point C instead?" If you cancel the same day you get a penelty which is of course counted against you, if you get more than 10 in a rolling 6 month period, you are suspended for 2 weeks, if it happens again you can be dropped from service all together, and, such sweet people as they are each round trip counts as 2 rides, 2 penelties. The good news is that Candice was able to let me know that I wouldn't be able to drop by on Monday, on Sunday evening, which is a really good thing because if you cancel before midnight of the day your ride is scheduled for you will not be pennalized for a late cancelation. It's unfortunate,, but it's really no big deal, and the important thing is that what prevented Candice from having me over on Monday is resolving it's self now and things should be just fine quite soon.

So, having plenty of advanced notice, I decided to make yesterday the day of calls. I made, erm, haven't counted yet, let's see:

Strong Midwives Practice,
Strong Blood Lab,
DHS/Medicaid Office,
Liftline again,
Liftline a third time,
Our couples counsilor,
The Eastman Community Music School,
The Bayview YMCA,
Bright Raven Gymnastics,
Jim's mother,
Jim, 1, 2, 3 times,
Bridgitte, homebirth midwife who also provides well-woman care,
in no particular order, 18 calls, some of them quite lengthy.

Today I took liftline from home to the blood lab, had blood drawn, went upstairs and snagged a blank form for renewing my Medicaid from the appointments window of the Strong MidWives Group, they had their resident social worker run 1 up for me, then I took Liftline to Wegman's to do some grocery shopping, then returned home.

Jeremy really loves to help me put groceries away, he'll grab one thing at a time, bring it to me, then we'll talk about what it is, then I'll put it away and he'll get the next thing. It's not the most efficent system, but Jeremy loves it, it is building muscular strength, math skills, vocabulary and giving him a foundation of enjoying being helpful and part of a household team. I know I know, I'm talking like an early childhood educator. Can't be helped, that's how I think most of the time, how I try to think all of the time when I am mindful of it. Usually it's a bit of a pain in the butt to guide him through this process, but I have this disgusting painful as hell congestion in my head and every time I bend down my head goes from a 2 of barely perceptable discomfort to about a 6 of "Someone please make it stop" pain." So, Jeremy picking up the groceries out of my reusable shopping bags way down there on the headache inducing floor and bringing them from the livingroom to the kitchen for me was rather nice.

I had the nicest lady at the lab today, she's black, youngish, has an excellent sense of humor and is quite good at taking blood. She's never rolled a vain, also, it will always prick a bit, but the discomfort is really minimal when she handles the neadle. She's only ever seen me with Jim in there, quite a lot lately, and this was the first time I've come in alone, and I was curious if shhe would be overly careful, cilisitous or anything, and she was just perfect. No condesention, same jovial self, and a really pleasant person to start my day out talking with.

I was a little worried that picking up the form from the Strong Midwives would be a touch ackward, since I switched to recieving my well-woman care from Bridgitte Rhody, 1 of 2 excellent home-birth midwives in Rochester who also provide well-woman care. It was a bit of a, well, not a faux pas exactly, but not especially kuth to come to them for the form I needed, but I don't really care. Their social worker had a copy of the form I needed, and I was already in that building, getting my blood drawn, and Jinnie, mom's volinteer reader is coming this evening, so she could help me with it , therefore I needed it today. But, they didn't seem to notice anything amiss. They just said hi, got me the form, end of story. I mean, they didn't coo over Jeremy, but they see so many newborns in their line of work, on a daily basis, that I guess toddlers don't register on their cute-o-meeters anymore.

Wegman's went pretty well also. I had a nice assistant, she stocks shelves, does Helping Hands, and is a cashier, so down-to-earth, but plenty intelligent, flexable and really pleasant to work with. I noticed that more and more our lists are heavy on the produce, bakery, deli, Nature's Market, butcher and dairy sections, with less and less in the paper products, prepared foods, canned foods and frozen foods sections. It was especially blatent today when I got only 3 or 4 items in the second group of sections I mentioned and all of the rest from the first. It feels really good. I mean, we don't eat all organic yet, and we're far from perfect or home grown, but more and more we are shopping more fresh, more local and doing more home-made things with our meals and other purchases. Jeremy took a 30 or so minute nap at Wegman's, so I don't know if he'll go down for a nap today or not, but I'll give it a try.

I'm going to clean the microwave next, then take a shower then try rocking Jeremy. Olivia, one of his favorite shows is coming on now, so that should keep him busy long enough for me to do the microwave and shower without him getting too upset or reeking too much havik on the house. I've made a resolution that has 2 parts to it. First, I'm going to pick one thing and clean it top-to-bottom every day, so that as I go I really feel like things are being made clean, not just spot cleaned. In the mean time I'll spot clean the other things not on the individual day's adgenda, and wipe up messes as they happen so they won't get out of hand. But, if it's not on the list for the day, I won't stress about getting it perfect. I'll do the microwave today, tomorrow I will do the stove and the front of the oven. Cleaning out the oven I need to research further as it's a self cleaning oven and I want to figure out what I need to do to prep it for that, after it's finished and while it's cleaning it's self. Secondly, I am going to make 1 home made dish every day so that I don't resort to buying commercial doughnuts or pie or cookies when i need a sugar fix, or frozen, canned or boxed meals when I'm too tired to cook something complicated. Today I'm doing an Old Fashioned Gingerbread recepie from Ina Gartin, one of my favorite Food Network chefs. I'll journal briefly about it tonight, what the recepie was, what if any substitutions I had to make, how it turned out and what I might change next time. When it comes to baked goods, at least the first time I make them, I generally shut the heck up, follow the rules, the recepie that is, as closely as possible, then tweek the next time I make it. If it's a sauce or cassarole or soup I might play with it the first time I make it, but not with baked goods. They're just not my strong suit. Later, maybe tomorrow I'll go back and talk briefly about one of my earlier resolutions and what I did on Sunday as well.

That's all for now.

Colours and Scents and Explanations
After writing that post all about my shopping trip and my half splurge and half practical purchase I wanted to talk about a few things. First of all, it's all about the colour. I miss it, Gawd do I miss it. I don't miss being able to see spacific people or places or things, as my detailed vision was neverr steller, but I do miss colours, especially bright vivid ones. I think one of the reasons that I like VB and buy it, is that their patterns are beautiful, fun, not drab or austere like leather bags, even high end ones can be. I like to picture them. I like to know that people going by and seeing them might appreciate a particular colour or smile for just a second because of the chearful yellow in Bali Gold or might feel a tiny fleeting moment of tranquility from the pretty blue in my Bali Blue bag, and so on. I'm not trying to make guys think I'm sexy, or employers think I'm efficent or a go-getter, I'm not trying to be "in" with my peers. I want people from the old homeless dude on the corner to the toddler running past to see the colour and think for a moment about something emotional, not necessarily even happy, it could be sad, deep, interesting, amusing, comforting, whatever. People who have perfectly usable vision walk around like blind sheep all day and any sensory element that can break through their jaded apathy or their frantic rat-race mentality is a good thing. I know that if I could still see my bags I'd once in a while just pick up my wallet and take a moment to look at the yellow and think of bright yellow floaties on me as I splashed happily around in someone's backyard pool when I was 4 or of bright lemon slices lazily drifting in home made iced tea on my mom's portch on Berwick street while the windchimes chimed and the morning doves coo coo cooed. Would someone see me and think I was weird/high/retarded? Perhaps. Do I give a damn? Nope. You bet I don't. People still look at me funny when I pick up a plush animal from a toy store shelf and rub it against my cheek, stop to sniff the aroma of a bite of food just about to enter my mouth, take the time to stroke and run my hands down the length of a silk dress. I don't know if they think I'm pathetic, trying to make up for my lack of sight, if they think I'm being melodramatic either to gain the attention of men or to elissit sympathy from the general population, or if they think I'm "special" and that these sensory joys are my only sollace in a world lacking intellectual and meaningful adult in-put. Probably all of those things have crossed people's minds over the years, and they can all collectively shut the fuck up.

I love living, experiencing life, and I want other people to take the time to taste what they're eating, to look at what they're passing, to think about what they are hearing and smelling as they pass through this world. Unless I'm going into a hospital or the home of someone I know is super prone to migraines, I want them to smell my perfume, whether they like it or not, hopefully it will rouse them momentarily from their day-to-day lack of observance. I'm not going to begrudge sighted people the colours and light I miss, but I'm damned if I'm going to let them take it for granted, or if I'm going to stop caring about what colours I surround myself with. I'd love to take the time to find just the perfect colours and textures of clothing, but that would be extremely costly, time consuming and as I gain or lose weight, things would have to be replaced or given up. It doesn't matter if I way 350 pounds or 110, I can always use the same purse, the same backpack, the same handbag. One thing I do not do, that really sort of disgusts me when I see it, is have a different VB handbag for each outfit I own. I know some women who actually do this. A. I can't aford it and B. Even if I could, I would never waste money on doing something so frivilous. I also know women who wear colours they don't like because it is popular or people tell them it suits them, even if they hate it. Grow a backbone. If you like it, wear it, if you don't? Then leave it for someone who does genuinely like it, and spend your money on a charity or on something for yourself that you will at least enjoy.

I don't go out of my way to conform, but I don't go out of my way to be different either. VB is pretty popular, but I like it because of the colours, the quality, the style and the product, and I buy it because I like it, not because it's in fashion. If it went out of style, I'd keep buying it. High healed shoes for instance. I don't like them. They make me feel like an empty headed barby doll, they hurt my feet, they make me feel off balance, they are often quite pricy, they make a sexist statement in some situations and styles that I do not want to endorce, and I am already overweight, and on the taller side of average, I don't need to loom or tower over my female peers anymore than I already do. I don't want to look or feel like the jolly green jiant holding the arm of a 110 lb 5 ft 2 in woman who is helping me out or hanging out with me.

I can appreciate really nice things and quality without going over the top. Is VB much more classy then pleather bags from Walmart? Indeed it is. Is it Channel, hundreds and hundreds of dollars for one bag? Absolutely not. I want quality, but I do not insist on luxury. That's how my collection is too, middle of the road. I know some people who can't afford, or who can afford but don't think they deserve more than 1 purse, or a purse worth more than 10 dollars from the discount shelf, or who just don't care what their bag says about them, how it looks, if the labor practices to make it were fair, if the materials are steardy and quality and will last, they just buy whatever, toss it when it breaks and then get another cheep bag. I am also not one of those people who buys a whole new colour or pattern every season, or has a different bag for each outfit in their closet. I do have a different colour for each season, but I go by natural callinder seasons, and some Wiccan or Pagan ideas about what each season calls for, and I use the same bags each year, just rotating them each season. I do not follow the fashion seasons, I do not look at what is "hot this season."

The colour associated with Spring is yellow, so I have Bali Gold, a pattern with a ton of a really bright vivid yellow, not washed out cream, not ugly orangey school bus yellow. Bright beautiful rich sunshine yellow. Red is the colour associated with summer, but Raspberry Fiz features pinks ranging from quite light to ones with quite a lot of red in them, and reds are too dark and heavy to be predominant in my wardrobe at any time in my life. They don't suit me, they don't do much for me, and so I picked bright vivid happy pinks. For Autumn the associated colour is blue, so I picked Bali Blue which has another rich, beautiful shade, this time of blue, the element associated with Autumn is water and this blue I can picture and it reminds me of water and tranquility and that bitter sweet longing for summer's return while slowing down for the winter ahead. And, I just made Simply Violet my winter colour. Green is the colour associated with winter, and earth is the element that goes along with it, but green and brown are not colours I liked when I could see them, they do not particularly suit me, and they do not make me happy, they don't make me much of anything, so I chose Simply Violet because I love violet flowers, the scent and violet the colour, both of which make me think of cool or cold sensations, deep beauty that is grave, stately or contemplative, not bubbly, juvinal or superficial. I hate winter, I have Seasonal Affective Disorder and I didn't want to embrace winter with browns and greens, nor did I want to tirelessly and futily fight it with lemon yellow, frivilous pink, childish lime green, etc, that sort of wearing coconut fragrances in the dead of winter sort of thing. So I picked a colour that helps me to see the beauty, if not the comfort in winter. Instead of picking forest green or chocolate brown to make me feel warmer, which is a false warmth, or florescent summer and spring colours that only look forced in cold weather and make me long even more for what is months and months away. I picked a colour that reminds me of the bracing beauty of ice burgs in frigid arctic waters, the severe grace of ice clifs and the stunning splendor of miles of crystaline snow, undisturbed by human or animal just as dawn is breaking. It's a realistic aproach to finding something real and beautiful in winter, instead of embracing the whole winter culture or denying the existance of winter either.

Compared with owning a pair of shoes in every colour, having tons of outfits I wear only for special ocasions, designer jeans or buying new clothing every change of season even if I have perfectly fine clothing already apropriate for the temperature and weather conditions, having four sets of Vera Bradley essentials and letting that be enough, is very frugal. Is it noble, selfless and charitable? No, but it helps me have some self esteme about my appearance. There are a few things I genuinely like about how I look: my hair, my VB bags in really unique and brilliant colours, my hands and my colouring of skin and hair that makes my best colours bright yellows, lavendars, turquoise, lime green, hot pink, etc. Besides, until and unless my VB bags become unusable, I should have no reason to buy more once I have a full set of each colour, which I am close to now. That should not be for at least 5, but probably closer to 10 years as I take good care of my bags, and I rotate them, so 4 years of switching bags each season is like only using each bag for a year, so the wear and tear is minimal.

This has gotten sort of rambly, but these are some things I really wanted to talk about as I often feel judged because of the fact that we do worry about money and I own a 98 dollar back pack and a 50 dollar purse, nevermind that most of what I own was 10 to 60 percent off, always was bought locally or was bought online with free shipping and is well taken care of. I hope that if you got through reading this whole thing you might understand a little better how I think and what makes me tick, even if you still don't agree with it or like it, which is of course always your right.

Well Laid Plans
Well, what of that plan to buy 5 more pairs of flannel PJs? Ha Ha Ha haha haha haha hahah hahah hahah ha. That's funny. Didn't you hear, doesn't matter that it's only officially been winter for less than a month, all of the winter stock, not just the Holiday stock, but all of the winter stock, including warm flannel pajamas is being replaced with spring fashions and styles in stores. What. The. Fuckity fuck fuck? Hello? We live in Rochester New York, winter won't officially end for over 2 more months, and winter weather won't end for a good 2.5 to 3.5 more months. This is assanine. Do you know how many sales people have laughed at me over the phone over this inquiry over long sleeved, long pants pajama sets, in flannel not thin cotton nit, in a plus size, 2x, how dare I? A lot. Just for the record, I've tried Walmart, Kaymart, Steinmart, L. L. Bean, Land's End, Garnet Hill, J. C. Pennies, Macey's, Macey's Home Store, Bantan, Coals, Target, Berlington Coat Factory, Sears, QVC, Shop NBC and even had the wonderus and wonderful Jim do an extensive Google search. Some places still had some, but not above a large or a 1 x. Lots of places had them, but they were out of stock, and not coming back in stock until next season if at all, and a few had my size, in-stock, but in ugly ass patterns and for over $60.00 a pair. Next year I'll try black Friday sales and shop in the fall and stock up, and hell, I might be skinnier then and can get a 1x or even a large, significantly improving my chances of finding cute patterns and good options.

So, for my December purchase I decided to get Vera Bradley items to round out my collection so that I have a nice winter coloured set for going back to school. They had this huge sale at A Different Point of View, a neat little store in Pitsford that carries a lot of Vera and tons of other high end hand bags and jewelery. They sent me a flyer in the mail, and when I called they actually agreed to help me shop if I showed up, a big deal as they were absolutely packed and so busy they really couldn't spare anyone. They are a tiny store, with a tiny parking lot, or none, and it's on-street parking, not sure which, so they had people park at the 1st Baptist Church of Rochester and take a shuttle bus that runs every half hour to the store to accomidate the sale, which apparently is, and did in fact prove to be huge. It was an ordeal but well worth it.

Let me tell you what I got, and then I'll end this entry, and in the next one I'll describe the craziness involved in getting to and buying things at the sale.

I got items in Simply Violet, which I absolutely love and which I have been debating making my winter colour for a while. It was released as a summer colour in 2010, but it is deep and rich, but still vivid and light-hearted and works well for winter. I have a weekender in it, which I use as my diaper bag, as well as a let's do lunch which carries snacks for Jeremy in the diaper bag, and I get so many complements on it. So, as it was on sale, and they were out of any Bali Gold, my spring pattern, Bali Blue, my autumn pattern or Raspberry Fizz, my summer pattern or any of my mom's or friends' patterns, I decided to get some things for myself. I got their new laptop backpack as I need a large backpack or tote bag that will fit my laptop for taking to class and the large back pack has been discontinued in new colours. I also got a hipster, since they don't make the libby anymore and I need a long strapped, adjustable strapped purse type item that can be worn shoulder or cross body if I am wearing Jeremy, which tends to make shoulder bags fall off. I got an all-in-one wristlet for my cellphone and a turn lock wallet, since they were out of zip around wallets, which is what I usually get, and this was similar with a few more pockets. Now, aside from a check book cover I have all of the items I will need, genuinely need in my winter colour and I am ready for school.

I also got another weekender in Totally Turq because I have been wanting a back-up diaper bag to help it not wearout too quickly and to use if this one is dirty and being washed, as the washing and air drying process takes 2 or 3 days. I spent $224.00 and some change, and it was partially a fun purchase, but also deffinitly a necessary purchase and the big news is that the total before my $10.00 off coupon that I got for taking the shuddle, plus the several times marked down sale prices were applied was $325.00, so I saved literally $100.00. And, this is accurate, A Different Point of View does not really mark up their VB at all compared to the website, so, they really were an excellent deal, and they did not mark up the items just to mark them down. Overall I feel good about this purchase. I do want to write more though next entry about colours, why they are so important to me, the seasonal bag change phylosophy and my reasons for liking and using VB bags, but now I need to stop procrastinating and go work on cleaning up my cluttered, but not dirty, just encredibly disorganized room.

And My Final Possets Order Will Be...
Ok, back to the grind. The next part of the weeding-out process took a long time to complete. I went through and read the description of every single Retour scent and for any that contained my death notes of doom; I eliminated them from the list of options. For all of that work, I only managed to eliminate 15 blends. There were more with notes I absolutely cannot do, but many had already been eliminated because I had already tried them, they were OAR Cats not yet adopted, they were Yule blends, etc. My death notes include rose, of any kind, grape, and licorice, black or otherwise, and cherry in almost all circumstances. I did keep Tussy Mussy despite its containing rose, because it also contains violet, which I adore, and I kept Nadine, because she is an adopted, therefore a retired OAR Cat blend, and licorice is not one of her most dominant notes from what I can tell. I did however eliminate Liza, who is an adopted OAR Cat, because black licorice seems to be her whole point, and therefore, it would never, ever, not in a million years work on me. 96 les 15 is 81 remaining retour blends to pare down.

Maybe now it’s time to start building a separate list instead of hacking chunks out of my large Retour list, which is still a touch over 4 times what I wanted to purchase. First I’ll start with scents I have actually tried, that I am 100% sure I want, and I’ll see how many that is…

1000 Proof Egg Nog,
Proof of Daffodils,

5 apparently. Also, I discovered 1 more blend that I tried and didn’t like that I forgot to remove. Spring equinox, so I deleted that 1, leaving 80 blends, of which I am sure of 5 that I want for sure. That means I have 75 blends left from which to select 15 more, so I need to eliminate 60 more blends. This is going to be a real headache. So, next I’m putting all of the adopted and therefore retired OAR Cats fragrances on my for sure list, that’s…
Aiden-The Stately Sweetheart (Adopted 2008),
Margot-The Jaunty One (Adopted 2010),
Nadine (Adopted 2008),
Sam (Adopted 2008),

5 more. So 10 down, 10 to go. God, this is really difficult. I think I’ll go and look at some of the archives of releases to see what jumps out at me from them, and or some reviews.

Ok, so read reviews for Bat Fur Cloak and while I love the idea and the image it evokes, I simply won’t be able to do it if the fruit notes are of the cherry variety as one person suggests, or are grapey, as one person saying purple fruits makes me think. Others say raspberry, which would be lovely, but not risking it.

I am definitely getting Constable’s Clouds though as it’s peach and I love peach and I love the idea of scudding spring clouds, it makes me happy just thinking about it. Also Easter Grass, not many reviews, but I have such amazing memories of opening Easter baskets from my dad full of fakety fakey fake glorious plastic grass, brightly coloured plastic eggs and pastel coloured homemade Easter eggs.

Next, am grabbing Cruel Spring as it sounds similar to Sleet and Longest Night and Liquid Music, all of which I adore. Then Leap Day, as it’s so rare, available once every 4 years, and sounds like a citrus violet concoction that should be quite refreshing and lovely.

So, with
Leap Day,
Easter Grass,
Constable’s Clouds,
Cruel Spring,
That’s 14, 6 more to go. Decisions decisions.

Ok, so I discovered that Depression, Mania and Shock Treatment all on my list of possibles are all available in one of the collections available all year round, so I’m taking them off of my list. And I’m putting my remaining Pepys on there, Chocolate Pepys, Pink Pepys and, oh I forgot, I tested this one with success also, Yellow Pepys, so 17, only 3 more to pick. Erm, 2 more to pick, I also forgot Green Pepys, one of my partial bottles I want to replace, that I already know I like.

Leap Day,
Easter Grass,
Constable’s Clouds,
Cruel Spring,
Aiden-The Stately Sweetheart (Adopted 2008),
Margot-The Jaunty One (Adopted 2010),
Nadine (Adopted 2008),
Sam (Adopted 2008),
1000 Proof Egg Nog,
Proof of Daffodils,
Pepys, Green Pepys,
Pepys, Yellow Pepys,
Pepys, Pink Pepys,
Pepys, Chocolate Pepys,
Mele Calikimaka,
Put the _____ in the ________,
Tussy Mussy,
The Smell of Money,
The Dead Garden,
November 1st,

And, I’m adding Tussy Mussy, for the violet, The Smell of Money, because the concept is intriguing and It was one of the first Possets I remember reading a description for when discovering Possets, plus, The Dead Garden, for the concept and the description, and one more, because, Oh Hell, my budget has already gone to hell in a hand basket, November 1st, again for the concept and it’s sentimental value. Then, oh lord, self control slipping, Mele Calikimaka and Put the _____ in the ________, because of the coconut, and... “fweeeeew, I’m done." Over budget, but it’s a retour and how often do those happen? Going to go have a cup of tea to take me down from this shopping high so I can sleep and to aswage the guilt. I feel very badly, but it’s going to drive me crazy if I don’t just commit and order already. And, that’s a rap.

Retour Stratagy Part 2
Moving right along. The next thing I did was to create yet another document, this one was the, erm, 4th? And I called it “full bottles I still need to test”. And that’s exactly what I put in there. I found 32 blends that I own all in full bottle size that I still need to test to figure out whether they belong on my swaps/sales list or in my personal collection. Theoretically I should test them all, so that I can figure out if any are so amazing that they are multiple bottle worthy, so that I can grab backup bottles during retour, but that’s just not going to happen. I don’t have the time to test all of them, or even most of them before retour ends, so I’ve decided to, for once in my life, lol, let it go. I have a full bottle of each, and if I do find an amazing one in that lot, later after Retour is done, then I’ll just suck it up, shut up and cope with the prospect of not being able to ever get more of it. I really want to focus on new scents I’ve never tried or that I’ve only ever been able to try in sample or partial bottle form that I already know I will love. So, 32 of these blends I still need to test, subtracted from 186 fragrances on my Retours list, leaves a grand total of, 154.

That’s still 134 blends too many, so next I made a document called “Scents I Just Didn’t Care For” and on it I will place all of the blends that I have tried in sample, decant, empty, sniffy, partial or full bottle form that I have sold or swapped, am currently trying to sell or swap, or that I have tossed in as frimps into swap and sale packages, because they didn’t work on me, were not to my taste or both. This knocked another 46 fragrances off of my working list. There were 45 different scents on my list of just didn’t like LE Possets from the past, but for some reason Spook was listed twice on the Retour list and on the website it’s self. I did check to see if the descriptions and spellings of the names were identical, and they were, so it must have just been a mistake when Fabienne put up all of the Retours. Either way, it eliminates 46 scents all together from the list I am whittling down. 154 minus 46 equals 118 perfumes left to go.

This is where it gets more difficult. I think next I will take out all of the OAR benefit fragrances that are for cats who have not yet been adopted, as these blends will be available again for sure if and when each cat finds their forever home, that and Fabienne usually brings back all of the past OAR Cat scents, that have not yet been retired because of their cats being adopted, each Christmas Time, so I should have at least 1, but probably more than 1 chance left to get these kitty scents. That takes another 11 scents out of the equation. 107 left to go.

I’m really wracking my brain to figure out what else I can take away. I think next I’ll get rid of all of the 100% Natural Blends as they are twice as expensive as the others, would take a serious chunk out of my Retour budget, and the only Natural I ever bought failed on me miserably. So I was able to eliminate 11 additional scents, bringing my list of choices below 100, thank God, to 96.

My brain is starting to throb, so I’ll come back to this in a while. It is still nearly 5 times the amount of bottles that I want to buy, so I need to really give this some thought. Arg. Be back later for more punishment. Oh and for the record, still creating separate documents for each type of scents I remove from my final cut list, but you get the point, I don’t need to keep telling you that I’m doing it with each new cut I make. This will also be a nice basis from which to later expand the lists to make a list of all of the Naturals ever offered by Possets or all of the OAR Benefit fragrances ever made by Possets, and so on. I’d just add back in ones that were missing because they were eliminated earlier in my weeding out process of the Retours.

Retour Stratagy Part 1
Ok, so the very first thing I did was to go through the Retour/Yule section of the Possets’ website and write down the name of every single blend available for Retour, in alphabetical order, separating with one blank line where each new page starts for easy navigation and keeping track of numbers, there are 10 per page. Later I may put cuts in here with lists under them, so that people who might be struggling with strategy if another Retour takes place can be directed back to these entries, which I should probably create a Retour tag for, and can view the full lists I have made to help me keep this all strait.

Next, I went through and made a second document called “The Final Cut”, the previously mentioned document I titled “The Complete List of Retour Fragrances Available”. I copied and pasted the contents of the first document into the second then started cutting blends from the Yule collection, and moving them to a third Microsoft Word document named “Yule 2010 Blends”. This will help me not be paranoid that I missed or over looked something, will let me know how many I have eliminated with each sweep, and in the case of the Yules, will help me to revisit them and make my top 9 list for that order. In cutting out Yule blends, I was able to eliminate 35 blends. The Yules in 2010 came out in 3 waves, with the first containing 6 new OAR Cats, and 7 just plane new holiday type fragrances, the second contained 7 more wintery/Christmassy blends, and the third was comprised of 9 scents, all inspired by and each meant to represent 1 of the 9 choirs of angels, Angels, Archangels, Cherubim, and so on. That’s 13 plus 7 is 20 plus 9 is 29, and I also counted the 6 Chresh fragrances, because I could have sworn that they returned with one of the phases of Yule this year, not just for the Retour. They have a high likelihood of returning in future years, and none of them is anything I’m especially interested in, so I included them here. The first 3, the wise men came out in 2008, then they returned along with the 3 major nativity fragrances which were new in 2009, and all 6 came back this year, so it’s quite likely that this set will keep coming back year after year, until and unless component issues crop up. So, 29 plus 6 more equals 35 in all. 35 down, 216 left to go.

Next I went through and created a 4th MS Word document “My Personal Collection” into which I pasted fragrances cut from my “final Cut” document that I already own in the amount of at least 1 full bottle’s worth. I do own 2 partial bottles, both of which I intend to get full, new bottles of during this retour, as I got them as partials during swaps with other Possetiers, Green Pepys, pronounced peeps, and Mincemeat, not to be confused with Mincemeat Pie, which I of course did at first. I was able to eliminate 30 bottles from the Final Cut that I already have. My actual collection is a bit bigger than that, but I have some General Catalogue scents, which obviously are not featured in Retour, Corona Borealis, Mary Shelly, Smellbutrin, and Silver Ginger. Also, I do have back up bottles for some of my favorite scents, Doped Pumpkin, 1 backup, Susie, 2 backups, Longest Night, 1 back up, Gabby-The Sweetling Ghost, 1 back up, Sammy, 1 back up, and Buttermilk Pie, 1 back up. If a bottle isn’t full anymore, but I bought it brand new and therefore full from Possets, or if I swapped for a bottle marked as full, sniffed only, cleanly tested once or only lightly tested, then I count that as a full bottle also. That makes a grand total of 41 bottles in my personal collection, and 30 to eliminate from the Retours, so 65 down, 186 remaining.

I’ll write more later on as I whittle down my collection further.

Oh no it's a Retour, also I'm behind.
Alright, so here’s the deal. I haven’t updated in about a week, and I had vowed to update every single day. Well, I have been writing, starting and sometimes finishing entries every day, in Microsoft Word, but they haven’t gotten posted. I don’t want to flood my friends’ friends pages with late posts, with multiple entries in the same day, but when I tried to back date entries, it wouldn’t do so. For instance, I had an entry for the 28th, almost finished that night, but I wound up posting it on the 29th, and when I tried to back date it, it still insisted on dating it 12/29/2010. So, I’ll keep it down to just 2 entries, smallish ones, per day until I’m all caught up. Maybe later if I can figure out how to successfully back date my entries I can fix them and get my journal looking all nice and spiffy. Until then, that’s just how it’s got to work.

So, my wallet is cowering under the china cabinet in terror, because Possets Perfumes is having another Retour de Possets event. I know myself, and I know that I’m really going to have to make a concerted effort to establish and adhere to a budget for this Retour as I could easily spend hundreds and hundreds of dollars. There are 251 blends available for purchase in all and even if each was only $10.00, but some of them are $20.00, that would still be $2,510.00 worth of potentially purchase-worthy perfume product. So, I am going to take a very methodical approach to eliminate scents I already have, scents I have tried and know for sure I don’t like, scents that I don’t have, have never tried but that don’t have a good chance of success on me, based on their descriptions and reviews and see what is left over, then prioritize that. I think I can give myself a maximum of $200.00 which equals 20 blends if I stick to $10.00s and avoid the 20.00 100% Natural Blends. I know I want way more then 20, but I’ll have to be discerning, especially as I know I’ll want some from the Yule update which will go away mid January, unlike the Retour which will end on the 8th of this month. Then there’ll be valentines blends soon, so I need a strategy. I’ll also assess the likelihood of individual blends returning when making my selections. While the Retours are not guaranteed to ever come back, as Retours are random and wonderful, but rare events, the Yule blends at least have a bit longer than the rest of the Retours, and if Fabienne does as she usually does, then there will be 3, or more scents, but it is usually 3, voted from the Yules into the permanent collection, so I will wait and place a second order after Retour for my top 6 choices from the Yules, once I can see which blends will go permanent and which will not. So, I’ll make a list of 9, which leaves 6 to order, even if all 3 of the ones voted permanent are ones I was thinking of purchasing.

I’ve also made the budgeting decision that for every Possets release, I will allow myself a budget of $60.00, since you must purchase greater than $50.00 in order to get free shipping, and the only way to exceed it is to buy another whole $10.00 Posset, after 5 Possets are in the cart to establish a $50.00 total. It won’t be easy, but I really must learn some self control. I’ll have to read reviews, participate in decant circles, be tough on myself, very strict and prioritize, prioritize, prioritize.

So, with that budget in mind, I am off to start whittling down my options from the Retour offerings for 2010.

How Heather Is Not Going To Spend Too Much Money in 2011
Alrighty. So mom informes me that she "Is going to bed at 9:00" and I tell her that that is fine, and I will rock Jeremy. Lowe and behold... she is rocking Jeremy and it is 9:30 or so. Grrr. I don't mind rocking him. I don't mind if she rocks him, but when I sit here typing on my computer, listening to her trying to get him to sleep, afraid that if I go in there and try to take him to let her go to bed that she will get defensive and say I don't want her help, or that if I don't go in there, she will be inwardly fuming that I am not rocking my own son, it drives me bat shit. So, as I said, arg. Well, no I said grrr, but arg is pretty much a similar sentament, and both are quite apt in this situation.

On to the subject of the post. We always seem to spend more money then we intend to, either because we give into sales, shiney new things, buy things we've carelessly broken, lost, prematurely donated or other wise needlessly duplicating things we already have, or should still have. We also are not always very efficent with gas, electricity and time which leeds to more impulse buying and convenience purchasing, which is never a good thing. Therefore, I am imposing a few new measures that should help us spend less. First of all, there are things we ligitimately need, not want, or not just want, but actually need. We can't aford to get them all at once, but we can't really go without them for too long, so I prepose this... Each month, I will make one well-thought-out, largish purchase for myself, one for Jim, one for Jeremy and one for Tova, and one for my guide dog when he or she gets here. I am not counting things like food, which is a must-have every month, or cleaning products. However, large bulk orders of food, such as raw diet for Tova, of cleaning products, like Bioklean products or body care products, such as having to meet a $75.00 or $100.00 shipping minimum will be considered large purchases. For this month, I'm getting flannel pajamas, like the ones mom and Jim got me. They should be on sale all over the place and I want to have 7 pairs, so that I will have one week's worth, if I do laundry once a week. I know, I know, normal people wear a night gown or a set of PJs for 2 or 3 nights, but those people put them on right before bed, take them off right after they get up, fold them, tuck them under their pillows, and I, well, I'm abnormal. I sleep naked, well, bra and panties, TMI, I apoligize, but it's rellivent. Then I get up, put on my PJs while I hang out at home, and then take them off right before I get dressed to go out to school or to run an errond, which means I cook, clean, eat, change diapers, do house work, do laundry, etc while wearing them, so they aren't really fit to wear longer than one day. It comes down to this, I don't like being dressed. If I could, I'd run around naked 24-7, but it's Rochester and it's winter, and we can not aford to have our heating at 75 or 80 all day. Now that I have my awsum space heater for night time, I don't need to wear PJs to bed, which is fortunate, as I never would wear them even when I had no heater and really did need them, and I'd wake up cold, but what can I say, I'm strange and stubborn also. So, that'll be my purchase for December. I have 2 pairs, so need 5 more, and if they are $20.00, aproximately a set, that'll be $100.00 which isn't ideal, but I think we can swing it.

I think in January I'll get some new nursing bras, as I own a grand total of 5, 3 of which are missing both underwires, one of which has only 1 left, all of which are dingy looking, despite being perfectly clean and sanatary, the flesh tone is just faded as hell and the white will never be as white as it should, especially without chlorene bleach, which would probably reduce them to dust or swiss cheese if I was ok with using it, which I am not. Two of which have small holes, none of which fit right as their support factor is totally worn out and my breasts have changed shape and size since I first got them, right before Jeremy was born, and he is, oh lord, 2 and a half. So, yeah, new bras it will be, at least 7, again, because I wear 1 24-7. I know they, the mysterious and omnipresent "they" say you should go bra-less some of the time, but, I am just not comfortable running around sans brazeer. I need and love the support. Perhaps when I lose some weight I will feel differently, but I doubt it as I'm a d to a double d depending on the day. I'm not falling over from the weight of my chest, but nor is my equipment minimal. Even if I get down to my ideal weight, I anticipate being between a C and a D, maybe even still the double D if I am pregnant again and or nursing an infant under age 1 year. Aside from not liking the feeling of not being supported when I move around, my nipples have been super sensative lately, either because I am losing my milk, or because someone up there hates me. Not sure, but depending on the situation and my mood, having them stimulated either makes me horny when I can't do anything about it, or more often, is just annoying like someone poking you repetedly or tickling you when you aren't in the mood to kid around. It's not painful, but it is really off-putting. Again TMI, but don't really care. To any woman or to any man whose partner is a woman, especially to nursing moms and dads of kids with moms who nurse them, these things do need to be discussed from time to time. I don't know many moms who extended breastfeed their toddlers, so it's something in the realm, of new experiences there's not much literature on. This sensativity is worse then when I was pregnant, worse then when I was first nursing. It really makes me want to get this weening thing underway. I am a strong advocate of child-lead weening. I pretty much weened myself by 1 year of age, and generally speaking toddlers ween themselves or at least seriously decrease their nursing between 1.5 and 2.5 years of age. Jeremy still asks pretty frequently to nurse though, so I'm going to help him along. I'm not weening him cold turkey, and I'm keeping in mind his emotional needs, but me and my boobs are pretty much done with all of this, at least until and unless I have another baby.

Oh hell, we've tangented so completely, I might as well finish the thoughts. Jeremy is entirely night-weened, thank god. I nurse him, then mom or I rock him, then I take him up to bed and lay him down. He might wake briefly 1 to 3 times a night and ask to nurse or just ask for "Mommy?" but if I start to sing to him or just ignore him and pretend to still be asleep or shush him and calmly tell him it's time to sleep, he will drift back off. I very my response depending on his level of wakefulness and his emotional state, content but slightly wakeful to actively distressed and wondering where I am, but I have been having pretty good success with this ever since we put in the space heater. Jeremy refuses, end of story, no discussion necessary or allowed, to sleep under a blanket. So I dress him warmly and hope it's warm enough and he stays asleep. The problem with this, is that if you bundle a toddler up too much and they can't move around very easily, then when they wake up, they won't be able to easily reposition themselves and then go back to sleep. They will feel restricted and will get too pissed off or scared, depending on the child and the situation, to get back too sleep without some serious nursing, bedtime stories, rocking and generalized rigaamarole insuing . Once we got a heater, I could put him to bed just in a single layer of footed long sleeved sleeper or still in his clothes from the day, with socks but no shoes, and he would be fine. Whereas before I had to put on extra layers that agrivated him or put him to sleep slightly cold and under dressed and then sneak a blanket onto him and hope he didn't wake up, which he almost always did, and boy would he be royally ticked off at that point. Now, when he wakes up as long as it is past 6:00 A.M. and if he won't go back to sleep with talking, singing or ignoring, then I take him downstairs to nurse him. I don't nurse him in bed anymore, end of story, and he seems to be coming to terms with that. I think he will probably ween while I am at TSE, but I am not sure how he and I will handle the weekend visits where he will inevedebly ask to nurse and I will have to decide how I want to deal with that. Hopefully my milk will just dry up and not getting anything he will conclude that hugs and games and lullabies are much nicer now that the mommy milk wagon has dried up. I never get engorged anymore, and was pretty sure that my milk was gone, but *WTMI, Waaaaaay Too Much Information alert coming up* Jim informs me that it has not dried up. News to me. I really must not have that much left though, so it shouldn't be much of a stretch to dry it up. I might also buy some No More Milk tea by Earth Mama Angel Baby and take that with me to TSE.

Ok, enough about my boobs and extended breastfeeding and infant/child-lead weening. Jeremy's purchase for December is going to be 1 or 2 pairs of slippers, because he takes off socks, he can't wear footed Pajamas 24/7, and it's not good for him to wear sneakers all day, and our house gets quite cold in the winter, even with the heat at 70. I'm hoping for something with rubber or plastic soles that have some tred to them, that are fairly waterproof, such that he can step in a puddle of dog slobber drippy water, or a pile of melting tracked in snow and not get the fabric of the slippers or his foot wet. Also, really hoping for a drawstring tie or tighter knit cuffs to help keep them on him. If I can't find slippers like this, then I will get a crap load of slipper socks, as I'll have to change them any time they get wet or dirty, which means 2 to 4 pairs a day. *makes a face* We're going to Walmart, Target, Babies R Us and possibly also to Buy Buy Baby, so we should be able to find something for him. We'll also look for flannel PJs as well.

For January I want to get Jeremy some more cloth training pants, so that I have enough to start more serious potty learning, so that in late January or early February we can take another more concerted stab at this.

For Jim, I want him to get some cell phone chargers for his December purchase. He got a computer charging chord when he got the phone, which we can not find. He and I use the same exact charger and I have 1 wall charger, which, right now is the only one we can find. I am going to have him buy a wall charger for his apartment, so that I don't have to lend him my wall charger that came with my LG NV2, and so that he doesn't have to rely on quick charges up of his phone when he is at our house. I also am going to have him get a car charger that he can leave in the van all of the time, so that which ever one of us is in the van can use it to charge their phone while we drive around. Depending on the cost, I might also have him get 1 more computer charging cable, so that I can charge my cell from my laptop at school, to avoid carrying it around and risk losing my wall charger or having to drag it everywhere and remember where it is. I already have way too much student/mommy/Heather crap to haull about in my day-to-day life. I hesitate to buy 2 computer charging cables, one for Jim and one for me, because I know we have at least one already, just hanging around here somewhere waiting for us to rediscover it. We'll check Walmart and Target for what we need, and if they don't have the chargers we want, then we'll hit Best Buy which is in the same area.

For Jim's January purchase I might have him get more sleep pants, or more underwear. I've got to check with him and see what he has and needs more of most desperately. So, that's the plan, and hopefully if we stick to it it will save us money in the long run.

Quick Entry Tonight
Well, I tried out my new fruit basket today, and, drum role please, it was a great success. Mutant though it may look, it is very cute and it did manage to hold 7 organic ginger gold apples and a bunch of 6 or 7 organic bananas, with perhaps some extra space up above for grapes or another bunch of bananas. As I feared, the bottom doesn't hold a ton, but if I mix it up with some smaller sized fruits like maybe plums or apricots along with the larger naval oranges and big local apples, I could probably fit over a dozen pieces in the basket part, not counting the arch which could hold a lot of hanging fruit, so still quite roomy. I made a resolution today, second drum role, with more feeling, I'm going to only buy organic fruit from now on. If they don't have what I want in frozen or fresh organic, canned organic as a last resort, then I'll just wait until they do or until local and responsibly grown, if not exactly organic is available again. I'll use the fruit basket to help. Mom's non-organic fruit can go in the crisper, my nice organic fruit will go in the basket on the table. If mom wants some of mine, I will of course share, but I won't have, or give to Jeremy, any of hers from now on.

I thought of one thing that I forgot that mom/Jim got me for Christmas, a nice winter night gown. It's pink, lined with cotton, but silky on the outside, embroidered around the neck, with long sleeves and is maybe mid calf length. Mom has one like it that I steel every so often and comment on how much I like it, so they checked the label and got me one just like it, or pretty damn close from Bonton. It fits and is very comfortable. It's not sexy by any stretch, but Jim tells me it's not unattractive or old ladyish either.

Well, Jeremy is addicted to my new aroma therapy clock. He keeps trying to turn on the sounds and the light and to take out and eat the sound beads. If he gets to persistent, I'll move it somewhere he can't reach it. I'm afraid he might actually ingest some of the beads, and now that he knows that a pretty bright light and all sorts of fun new sounds come out of it at the push of a button, it's quite difficult to keep him away from it.

On that note, we set up my clock radeo, which aparently is called the SONY Dream Machine, on my large dresser, pushed back a ways where he couldn't easily get to it unless he actively pulled something over there to climb onto. We are going to get one of those box covers though for the outlet next to the dresser were it is plugged in. It's not really such an issue of our being afraid that he'll electricute himself, like we worried about when he was very small. It's the fact that I can't set the clock on my own, and if he unpluggs it, the time and alarms will be erased and need resetting. I'm leaning more and more towards making the bedroom off limits to Jeremy when he isn't sleeping. Nurse him, rock him or have mom rock him to sleep, take him upstairs, put him to bed, the minute he wakes up, hussle him out of there, not allow him in there unless I am picking up clutter or putting away laundry in there and he is playing nicely on the bed with a toy or reading a book or something. I hate to put door nob locks on everything, but sometimes, if I have a headache and mom or Jim is watching him, or if I need a quick session with my rabbity friend, I just need him to stay out for a while. Erm, I wish I knew the latin name for rabbits, so that I could use some clever euphamism for my adult toy, but alas, I don't know, so for now, the bluntness wins out. Amanda, if you're reading this, care to fill me in? You raised rabbits and all, so maybe you know the scientific name for rabbits of the furry variety, so that I could more discretely or at least somewhat more discretely refer to my rabbit of the cilicone and motorized variety with a cute and fuzzy play on words, all be it a lame one.

Hate to put off again discussing Jim's present to me, but my fingers hurt. No, I'm not that dilligent about typing, I just have many torn hangnails and typing is actively hurting a bit, plus I'm exausted. No lie, even writing the word exausted, is enough to prevoke a genuine yawn from me. But I will write about Wakkit. I'll check the spelling for sure on that, because it's not pronouncing it right. It should be wock, sounding like what you make stir fry in, plus it, like the good, but way to freaken long Stephen King book, put it together, and give the cyllibles the emphasis as if you were rhyming with the word pocket. Jeremy got a stuffed Wakit, as in "There's a wackit in my pocket." by Dr. "Oh, for fuck's sake, never going to spell this right either" *bangs head against nearest object* Suisse? Nah, I think I'm getting influenced by trying to spell the French word for the people of Switzerland, when I guess at the spelling. Anyway, Dr. Suisse, the dood, the now dead, I think, dood who wrote weird but awsum children's books such as The "I'm a glutton for punishment, here goes." Lorax? and the First of, "Oh lord I give up." Octember? God? Allah? Jesus? Fate? Meditron? somebody out there, you made me with a defective gene for spelling basic words in my native language, then you give me an afinity for books and authors with such impossible to spell names? Not cool, hitting below the belt, if you want my opinion.

Tangent over. Really getting tired. Point is, Jeremy got a stuffed Wockit, a long legged, long armed, skinny necked, round headed, big eyed, long nosed, shaggy furred thing that is pink, purple and orange. I don't think I'm going to be able to spell check this and try to justify all of those (adjictive, body part, plus E D" words, so I'm going to just skip the hyphins, skip the spell check and hope for the best. Jeremy has a baby doll and tons of stuffed, plush and hard plastic animals, but for whatever reason, it is this Wocket, not a boy's usual choice of a teddy bear, or a girl's usual choice of a doll that Jeremy has adopted. He wants to feed it, to rock it to sleep and he sits it in chairs and in his lap like a baby. He gets actively distressed when it's not accounted for and he goes through this unbarably cute ritual of saying "Aw, Wocket. He's so cute." and then giving it a hug and many kisses. Really, we could torture people with this for foreign intelligence secrets, it's that freaken cute. That was a present from his Aunt Sarah, someone I can assure you is far nicer than the Aunt Sarah from Lady and the Tramp.

I'll write about Jeremy's presents from us all tomorrow, and maybe Jim's present to me tomorrow.